we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
soo... how was my night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
