Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
