were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've blown a few things in my day
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
