your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
