Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
