i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
