guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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