Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
