If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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