dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
