Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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