I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
