tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
