youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
