eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
