Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
