You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
