Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
