forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
