it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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