If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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