He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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