things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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