Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
