Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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