Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
