Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
