don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
