you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
