dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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