I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
