Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my being single is dangerous.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
