ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
