I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
