You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
