Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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