we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
