My first STD was from a foam party
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i think im in europe. pls send help
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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