You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
