I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
