Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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