my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
