Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
