think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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