Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't deserve a penis
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
