I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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