Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
