He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
