Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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