A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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